Antonio the Amazing

Episode Name/Number: Take Two, They're Small (Episode 5.24)

Original Air Date: April 1, 1980

Summary: Laverne's cousin Antonio moves to America from Italy, but becomes discouraged when the American Dream isn't all he thought it would be (apparently most business owners in Milwaukee aren't looking for applicants with lots of goat herding experience...).

Guest Stars: Ed Marinaro as Laverne’s cousin, Antonio DeFazio (try not to be too creeped out by the fact that Ed Marinaro later takes on a reoccurring role in the California episodes as Laverne's boyfriend, Sonny).
Best Quote: "Don’t eat our couch! We’re very poor! We’re very poor!" -Laverne, to the bear
Most Touching Moment/Quote: Shirley’s speech to Antonio about not letting dreams die: "Dreams fill the soul’s pantry. Keep that pantry filled and the soul will never hunger. But if you run out of dreams, the soul will wither and fade away." (Okay, it's a little dramatic.)
Funniest Moment: Lenny and Squiggy teaching Antonio how to do the hand bite ("It’s sorta an expression of joy." -Lenny)
Squiggy Hello: "When he gets rid of us, we’re going to be two piles of dead meat!" -Laverne "Hello!" -Squiggy
Featured Songs: Laverne attempting to sing "High Hopes" to Antonio, when Shirley's pep talk fails.
Strangest Moment: Basically the whole bear-escapes-from-the-zoo-and-then-miraculously-finding-its-way-into-the-girls'-apartment thing. 1. Do free-roaming bears on the streets of Milwaukee not raise red flags to people anymore?, and 2. Edna Babish, start locking the damn apartment doors!
Best Insult: "Listen, Anchovio..." -Squiggy "No, it’s..." -Antonio "Don’t worry about your name, it don’t mean nothin’ to me." -Squiggy
Saddest Moment: Antonio leaving the girls’ apartment, after Laverne’s speech about him being like a brother to her, and resolving to go back to Italy.
Fun Tidbit: Shirley dreams of living in a two-story colonial home with a dog named Dave.

Episode in One Ridiculous Picture:

Star Rating: 2.5/5
Verdict: The episode is harmless enough, but also was beginning to indicate that things were getting somewhat stale in good 'ol Milwaukee. Case in point - the premise and subsequent plot progression of this episode are eerily similar to season 1's "How Do You Say 'Are You Dead' in German?" And the bear scene, to me, was forced, and took the "silly sitcom situation" too far - even by Laverne & Shirley standards.